Shop at Walmart? BEWARE!

It's raining and it's Friday, so I thought I'd post something fun. In the past, you all may have received an email from a friend, loaded with funny photos of freakish people shopping at Walmart around the country (or predominantly the Mid-West). THIS POST IS FOR PEOPLE THAT LIKE TO LAUGH, NOT FOR THE "HOLIER THAN THOU".

Here are a few that I picked out for you all. Have a laugh.....


GREASE LIGHTNING: I didn’t know ‘The Pink Ladies’ from Grease were still around! Of course she apparently doesn’t know Danny Zuko is not only made up, but he isn’t coming for her anytime soon either. -Missouri THIS HAD TO HAVE BEEN HALLOWEEN, BUT IN MISSOURI, I DOUBT IT.

JUNGLE FEVER: I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it! You like to, MOVE IT! -Unknown THIS GUY OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND OR A WIFE. NO WOMAN IN HER RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER ALLOW THIS.

WAY PAST THE POINT OF CARING: If I ever get to the point were I would rather wear a matching Tinkerbell poncho with my wife than bother putting up a fight, just take me out to pasture. -Florida CAN'T WAIT UNTIL MY BF GETS TO THIS POINT. HAHAHAHA!!!

TWO IN THE PINK: You dyed your dog pink. You dyed your dog pink. You… dyed…your dog…pink. YOU DYED YOUR DOG PINK! Man are you going to look stupid when you want to wear other colors. -Washington THIS IS JUST F**KING STUPID! I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF ANYTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS. THAT DOG SHOULD BE TAKEN FROM HER.

OHHH, WE'RE HALF WAY THERE: "I like to drink beer and f**k". Aggghhhh!!! Okay, who’s takin one for the team? -Kentucky ANOTHER GUY THAT DOESN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND OF WIFE. MY GUY WOULDN'T EVEN THINK OF COMING HOME WITH A T-SHIRT THAT TACKY!

BUILT LIKE A BRICK SH*HOUSE: That is one tall drink of water! -California

THIS HAAAAS TO BE A MAN! JUST ENOUGH SHIRT TO COVER THE BULGE. WELL, CROTCH BULGE ANYWAY.

IT'S A TRAP: New rule: If the hole in your jeans is big enough for me to put my hand into, then by golly that is what’s going to happen whether you like it or not. -Oklahoma YOU'RE AT WALMART...BUY ANOTHER PAIR OF JEANS...THEY'RE ONLY $5!

ALWAYS STRAPPED: It’s unfortunate that the one strap that is actually working is the one keeping your hair in place. -Arizona OH HOLY LORD!

TUBE TOPPIN': So, this is either a cross-dressing nautical enthusiast OR…..well, fill in anything, It really doesn’t matter because none of it will make sense. -Arizona WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE THAT REALLY THINK THIS IS OKAY?!

BEWARE THE GUSH: Anybody remember the fruit snack “Gushers”? Now I’m not saying anything else, I’m just saying….Gushers. They’re delicious. Good luck enjoying them ever again.
-Indiana IT'S TOTALLY COOL TO BE CONFIDENT WITH YOURSELF, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T CONFIDENT IN YOU...DON'T WE COUNT???

REACH FOR THE STARS: Oh! There are just so many colors and patterns and ink and booty. I’m dizzy, I want off this ride. -California LOVE IT!!!!

PURPLE HAZE: If I had told you that there is a picture where purple hair is the least weird thing going on, would you have believed me? -California I CAN'T HELP THINKING THIS IS A MAN. OR MAYBE A STRIPPER AT A 24 HR WALMART AFTER HER SHIFT. ACK!


NEW DEFINITION OF OVER/UNDER: Thank God the Vikings lost because I don’t want to know what she would have wore if they made it to the Super Bowl. -Minnesota I DUNNO...I'VE BEEN IN A SITUATION WHERE IT WAS DARK AND I PUT MY UNDIES ON INSIDE OUT, BUT HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN UNLESS YOU WERE MENTAL?


FACE OFF: This is just scary! -Texas I NEVER...NE-VVVV-ER WANT TO RUN INTO THIS GUY IN PERSON.

BELLY FLOP: Someone go tell this guy what “just hanging out” actually means. -Oklahoma WHAT IS HILARIOUS IS I'VE SEEN GUYS LIKE THIS BEFORE. PRIDE JUST OUT THE WINDOW. GONE!

SOMETHING SMELLS FISHY: We got a nice little skank night all planned out. We’re gonna head out showing as much skin and underwear as possible, grab a sixer, maybe do a little stripping. I don't know, I don’t know if we’ll have enough time! -Ohio JUST BECAUSE YOUR SKINNY FRIEND CAN DO IT, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN TOO! PUT DOWN THE BEER AND PICK UP HER GLASS PIPE!

PIECE OF MEAT: Preach on brother! I too am sick of being used and discarded like an object.
-Georgia SUPER TACKY, BUT I KNOW IF I SAW HIM IN PERSON I WOULD LAUGH. I WANT A SHIRT LIKE THAT FOR MY BF.

I SAID "NO, NO, NO!": too try to model my fashion and life after Amy Winehouse. So far it’s been a rock solid plan. -Unknown AMY IS SOOO MUCH MORE PUT TOGETHER THAN THIS. HOW DARE THEY!!!

BEDTIME STORIES: Part of me wants to let you read me a bedtime story as you tuck me in, the other part of me wants nothing to do with you or your candy. -Unknown I DUNNO ... THIS JUST GROSSES ME OUT.

SQUIRT GUNS: Hahaha! Look at the skinny, small, elderly guy with the “Born to Kill” shirt. Hahaha! Yeah, you go ahead and test him tough guy, ’cause I’ve never seen a person killed by a 2 liter of Squirt before and I’ve decided that’s something that I want to see. -Utah I LOVE THE FACT THAT HE MADE THIS SHIRT. HE PROBABLY HAS HOME-MADE BUMPER STICKERS ON THE CAMPER SHELL OF HIS OLD DATSUN TRUCK. HAHA!

FASHIONISTA: Don’t worry everyone, I’ve already forwarded this pic over to Burberry. I figured it would be rewarding for them to see this and remind themselves why it was they got into the fashion and design business in the first place. I’m sure they will be ecstatic seeing their vision come to life. -Florida THE COMMENT IS HILARIOUS!!!! P.S. I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THOSE LITTLE CHINESE SHOES. ACK!!!!

EAT FRESH: Well I’ve always said Subway sandwiches are all fillers and barely have any meat, usually leaving me unsatisfied. -Missouri HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

PUSS IN BOOTS: No Gertrude, I can’t think of a single reason why you are having trouble finding a date for Saturday nights. -Ohio THIS LOOSELY REMINDS ME OF MY LATE NIGHT TRIPS TO THE STORE FOR SNACKS WITH LILY (MY DOG). HMMMM....

FLIPPIN SOME FLAP JACKS: If you are short enough that a normal 5th grader would be able to look down at your business, then maybe it’s a good idea to take notice of gravity and cover up those sweater puppets. -Florida AND THIS IS WHY REAL BIG BOOBS SUCKKKK!!!!

FEEL THE BURN: I don’t think that whole ‘working out’ thing is really working out.
-Tennessee POOR KID.

DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT SHAKE?: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your booty. Actually, please refrain from any further movement. My stomach couldn’t possibly take any more. -New Hampshire I SO WANT TO JUST KICK HER IN THE A**! HA!

NOTHIN BUTT HORSEPLAY: Guess who’s back…back again…guess who’s back…..with his patterned back end. Guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, da da da.
-West Virginia THIS DUDE IS NOT ONLY WEARING POLKA DOT UNDIES, BUT HE HAS A G*DDAMED FANNY PACK ON!

CRACK THAT WHIP: I have a feeling her kids are always on their best behavior. I guess that’s what happens when you have a professional spanker for a mother. -Kentucky SHE MUST HAVE JUST GOT PAID AND WENT STRAIGHT TO WALMART FOR THE KIDS. WHAT A GOOD MOMMY!

GA-GA-OOH-LA-LA: Much to my, and I’m sure everyone else’s, surprise we have a challenger to the “Old lady from 8 Crazy Nights” look alike. Also, full disclosure – I’m a little frightened. -Indiana THIS IS LADY GAGA IN ABOUT 40 YEARS! LOVE IT!!!

V.I.P.: Yep, you nailed it. I now have a ‘Very Impotent Penis’. Thanks. -Alabama GROSS!

NO STRINGS ATTACHED: Okay, I know the shirt has strings, and I’m no Louis Vuitton, but I’m pretty sure those strings weren’t designed to hang on for dear life. -Texas THIS B**CH RAIDED MY CLOSET!!! WTF?!

DID YOU KILL A CHEETAH?: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE ANY CHEETAH PRINT FLOWERS!!!! Now what am I supposed to use to decorate my cougar den? -Missouri IM SO INTO THIS!!! I WANT THAT OUTFIT!

TO DYE FOR: If I were a betting man, I think I would double down on the fact that she probably has a little poodle-type dog that just happens to be dyed purple. -Indiana THIS COULD BE ME IN 40 YEARS. I WANT THAT COAT NOW!

HEAD OVER HEELS: C’mon cross-dressers! If you are going to wear clothing of the opposite sex, at least give it your best effort. I mean, you obviously took the time to pick out that cute little skirt, but then BAM you ruin it with those beat up old black sneakers. I never thought I’d say this, but “Sir, go put on some heels!” -Louisiana I AGREE!

NOT THE MAMA: Either that lady has a tail, or Barney is stuck somewhere he may not want to be. -Wyoming I WOULD NEVER EXPECT HIS FROM SOMEONE IN WYOMING. I DON'T KNOW WHY. SHE MUST BE FROM HOLLYWOOD AWAY AT REHAB OR SOMETHING.

SHARP SHOOTER: Do they still even make that color of pink? She must have left her Bret “The Hitman” Hart sunglasses at home. -Canada CANADIANS! SELINA IS THIS YOUR FUTURE???


PULLED PORK: For my own sanity, I have to assume that she is shoplifting pork roasts in her shirt. Simply because there is no possible way those are what you think they are. They can’t be, I refuse to believe it. Don’t try to reason with me. -Arkansas (SPEECHLESS ... KINDA WORRIED TOO)

LOVE ME (CHICKEN) TENDER: Not quite sure what all is going on here, but I can tell you this, none of its good. -California IS THAT A PINK PASHMINA????

A PERFECT FIT: See if you can spot who in this picture is slowly being scarred for life.
-Maryland THIS KID ISN'T GOING TO BE TRAUMATIZED, SHE'S LOOKING AT HER FUTURE!

RAISING SOME EYEBROWS: I like talking to her because she always seems so surprised and interested in what i’m saying. -Idaho HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

LADY IN RED: I think she just hangs out in the toy section all day waiting for someone to buy her and take her home. -Unknown I WANNA KNOW WHAT THIS OLD B LOOKED LIKE 30 YEARS AGO.

UNDER THE LIGHT OF THE MOON: “Mommy, where does moonshine come from?”
-Tennessee I SAW THIS DUDE IN A BUGS BUNNY CARTOON!!!! OR AT THE SEWER LAST WEEKEND.

THE NIGHTMARE: WAKE UP! WAKE UP! This is one dream I definitely don’t want to be in.
-Texas IF THIS DIDN'T SAY TEXAS I'D SWEAR IT WAS TAKEN IN OXNARD. LOL!!!

HOMEMADE FLYSWATTER: I’m just going to go ahead and say it. Everyone knows it’s taboo to wear your horse tail and flame boots after Labor Day! There, I said it, it’s out on the table now! -Unknown THATS A DUDE!!! IS IT HER HUSBAND OR BF OR LIKE HER SON??? THIS PICTURE BRINGS UP SOOOOOOOO MANY QUESTIONS! I DO LIKE THE HORSE TAIL INSTEAD OF THE SAME OL' RACCOON TAIL THING.

I HOPE YOU HAD A LAUGH. IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE (I TRIED TO STICK WITH THE FASHION RELATED ONES), GO TO http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ IT'S HILARIOUS!!!

*In Black: quote from website. In Pink...thats ME!