Oh Christ! Burning Man on the effing beach! First of all WHAT???!!! Second, imagine the tan lines, really! And then the fanny pack. Is she wearing heels? I can't even say anymore, all I have are questions! This had to have been taken on the East Coast, no one (I hope) would ever even think of doing this in California!
Dude, I hate this! This is NOT cute!!! Just because you saw one episode of Three's Company on TV Land and thought all that Venice in the 70's was cute...IT'S NOT! I could handle the shorts and top, but all this rainbow and roller skates is just ridiculous! Rainbow belts and socks belong in the clearance bin at Hot Topic.
Hard body and NOT a hard body, both are big NO'S! Yes you have great abs and huge fake ones, that doesn't mean that style has to go out the window. I see these swimsuits and wonder why designers never think (or care) about tan lines. Its so annoying to have to untie and tie back up. Lady on the right scares me because she looks like she could be young, but she has the body of a 60 year old, and again with the tan lines! Am I the only one that thinks when I buy a suit?
You have seen these women before. They used to be all over South Beach and now their tanned asses are making their way across and invading the West Coast. Let me tell you one thing...unless you are doing a Maxim photo shoot, you should NEVER wear heels with a swimsuit. And even then it looks tacky as shit! A trucker hat and Lucite stripper heels...some people have NO shame! NONE!
Now that I've given you the don'ts, go out and grab 20 suits and try them all on. Pick the best of the worst, go have a couple drinks and return the damned thing tomorrow. BYE!