"I like how most Manhattan cabbies still won’t stop for Brooklyn fares or black guys under 40, but screech across five lanes of traffic to pick up hungover club kids in the kind of heat that leaves an inch-thick film of crotch sweat and body glitter when they peel their bare asses off the vinyl seating." Hilarious!!!
What is it about blonde girls that they all think that to be cool they have to look like this? And what I mean by "this" is EXACTLY like this! There is no telling the difference! They do their hair the same, their makeup, their fake tits are the same size, they buy the exact same clothes, and all have the same lame ass star tattoos. Go back to Huntington Beach, we don't want you here!!!
Dressed for dinner, but what about those ashy knees?!!! He should really think about carrying lotion in his little side pack for times like these, how embarrassing!
"You know you've finally hit your stride when you can look back on the hateful nonsense you let yourself get consumed by in your teens and laugh about all the pussy it cost you."
It’s one thing to parade around in a beehive wig and stilettos looking like a character in a Broadway show, but a man in Barnes & Noble scouting for his next great read in a pair of sensible heels? Now that’s awesome. The bad news, I keep seeing Vinnie Jones when I look at him and it's making me sad. Vinnie in sensible heels? I guess if he did he would now wouldn't he?
"What’s the point of being ethnically “other” if you can’t rub that otherness all up in white society’s face? There’s a reason loud-ass black girls with Angela Davis fros are so beloved and it goes extra-double for Indian Beatle-mummies who practice law." Beatle-mummy...I'm dying!!
Despite the fact that this lady is completely off her rocker, I find it sweet that she takes her birds all over with her. It's kinda cool how crazy people come up with shit like a rope stroller for their pets. She looks like she coulda been sane at one time, maybe back in the 70's judging by her steez.
"Quilted jackets are for women who hate their own asses, crimping your hair is for white girls who wish they were “ethnic,” bell bottoms are for people who think their lives would be better if they’d been born in the past, and purple, of course, is the royal color of the sexually frustrated. So basically you’re a walking billboard of your own self- loathing AND you look like shit. Nice one."
"This is what the IT guy at your office wears under his casual-Friday “No, I can’t fix your computer today” t-shirt. Yes, Tim, I agree that the last Staind record was underrated." Are you scared??? I'm confused too!!!
Courtney Kittner year 2040. NEVER let go of your youth!